Heroin, Wrestling, and Animals: Profile of a Recovering Addict

By Jack Tellier

Zeus, 4K’s carpet python (courtesy of 4K)

4K got his nickname from a bunch of rowdy seniors when he was a skinny freshman on the high school football team. The nickname turned out to be a bad omen, as a few years later he would turn to using No. 4, the most refined form of heroin.

Now 22-years-old and drug-free, besides Suboxone - a drug used in the treatment of heroin addiction, 4K leads a life focused on his passion for animals while dreaming about becoming a professional wrestler. He sets up aquariums and works as an exotic fish salesman at a pet store while taking online classes to prepare for his future. His spiral into addiction, and eventual clawing out of a hard drug-centric lifestyle, is a tale that illustrates how mental illness and substance abuse can derail young lives.

As a teenager, 4K volunteered at animal sanctuaries, frequently winning community service awards in school. 

His childhood love for animals is something that has never faltered despite having his innocence stolen at a young age.

“Humans always switch up and fuck each other over, but animals, you know they're not just going to switch up on you … They don’t have the kind of malicious intent that humans do,” he said.

Princess, 4K’s pet ferret (courtesy of 4K)

4K and his brother were sexually abused from around age 7 to 8, something he cited as being a catalyst of his drug use as well as creating a lifelong feeling that he never “fit in.”

“It emotionally blunts you … it kinda destroys your life a little bit,” he said, breaking through a stutter.

To deal with the mental pain, he began smoking marijuana and drinking beer at 14-years-old.

His mother, 4k detailed, uses marijuana to sleep and did not have a problem with him smoking as long as it was at home.

“She would always say that it was better than drinking and stuff. She’s like a hippie kinda. She thought that doing it under her roof was the safest,” he said.

When he went to high school, 4K started selling “party drugs,” such as ecstasy, cocaine, “a few times,” LSD and Xanax.

Around this time, 4K and his former middle school classmate Evan, 22, who was also into drugs, began to hang out.

“He was buying a lot of stuff for me. I'd go move it, whatever, get back to him if I needed more,” said Evan.

This eventually led 4K into indulging in the drugs he was selling; stuff that is much harder than weed.

“When I was in high school, he was always on something,” said Bruce, 22, a close friend 4K met in freshman year. “I remember one time he walked into the library and he was on Valium,” he said.

This festering addiction caused 4K to isolate himself, something that both his friends said is common behavior for him.

“When he started doing all of that, he did distance himself. I didn't really hear a lot from him except for every, say, maybe once, twice a week, something like that,” recalled Evan.

4K’s Gooty sapphire ornamental tarantula (courtesy of 4K)

4K’s addiction to opioids and benzodiazepines began because he couldn’t fall asleep at night, haunted by post-traumatic stress from his childhood.

“Sometimes I'll just want something just to make me feel content and fall asleep,” he said.

Bruce began to notice 4K’s growing opioid addiction, and while it concerned him, he didn’t think much of it. One day, when the two went to a kava bar, Bruce found 4K cutting an oxycodone in half.

After months of oxycodone use, 4K turned to heroin.

“In all reality, heroin is diacetylmorphine. It's a prescription drug in some countries actually, so you know, I thought ‘fuck it,’” said 4K. “I was like, you know, ‘what's the difference as long as I dose it correctly, as long as I test it for fentanyl?’ I made all these rationalizations …” he said.

Much like oxycodone, heroin made all of 4K’s mental struggles and past trauma melt away. He finally felt comfortable in his skin.

“It feels like you never fit in your shoes your whole life and then finally you just slid right into them,” he described.

“We were kind of weird. We were some weird kids,” Bruce said regarding their small high school friend group, “Just oddballs, I guess we were different.”

DJ, 4K’s bearded dragon that lived 13 years (courtesy of 4K)

After a break up and blowing most of his money, 4K got off heroin with methadone and a prescribed amount of Klonopin.

With about a year of sobriety behind him, he began to pursue a lifelong dream: wrestling.

“I’ve always loved wrestling since I was a kid. When I got on the methadone, I started working out for a while and I ended up gaining a lot of muscle. I started going to a wrestling school for a little bit, just taking some classes,” he said.

4K continued to wrestle and stay sober for another year or so before relapsing.

“As far as wrestling, I mean, I tried my best, I learned a lot, you know?” he said.

After going back to rehab and getting sober again, 4K focuses on the future, unfortunately not without a twinge of regret towards the effect the relapse had on his wrestling.

“I've always loved it. And I worked my ass off those months that I went to classes, but you know, I've never had a match, you know? By relapsing, I essentially missed my chance to keep progressing,” he said.

Regardless, he continues to wrestle addiction every day.

“It just gives me a lot of hope because, you know, if I know he can do it,” Evan said, “I think I can keep my head up and do things I need to do for a little bit longer and hopefully everything will come to a resolve.”

Although he was never on heroin, Evan has also gotten sober.

“The rehab he got out of is the one that I'm going to because he was the one that told me, ‘if you're going to go to a rehab, go to this place.’ And so that's where I decided to go,” he said.

Bruce is also happy to see 4K’s progress.

“I’m proud of the little fucker,” laughed Bruce.

While continuing to work, 4K is enrolled in college classes online hoping to one day become a marine biologist.

“I want to work with marine mammals in the wild. Hopefully, in some capacity, in a conservation role one day. Or research would be probably ideal. Maybe like killer whales, those are very interesting to me,” he said.

“With the animals, it's like I can see it being very possible and very achievable. With wrestling, it's almost like I'm going to have to kind of just work on the side with that as much as I can and hope that I get lucky,” he explained.

Although 4K’s life does not have the organized, happy-ending story he wants, he continues to fight towards a better future.

“It’s very human, we’re not perfect. Y’know, if you decide to better yourself and make life easier for other people, then that’s a great, perfect thing to do,” said Bruce.

“I just have a very weird life compared to other people,” 4K said.

Editor's note: As of publication, 4K has gotten completely clean and quit using his prescribed substitution drugs (i.e. methadone, Suboxone).

4K’s pet toad (courtesy of 4K)